( What is it they say about the New Year?Collapse )

Current Mood: bouncy

So I really want to do this. Maybe I'll discover that I'm a little less boring than I thought.

I have spent all day reorganizing my planners, homepage, e-mail, profiles, etc. because I love this time of year and how it makes me feel like I should be proactive in changing my life. Earlier, I made a spreadsheet for the books I plan to read and even though it was all neat and adorable, I know the likelihood of me actually completing the list is slim to none. It seems a little daunting already.

Christmas was awesome this year. I got to see Kenny after a few months. He brought along his girlfriend and their best friends. Naturally, having so many college-aged people in the house, my uncle took the opportunity to get us all drunk on Captain Morgan. Spirits were high, gifts were low, but my brother got us a kitten! His name is Rocky and he's sort of a bastard.

Current Mood: cheerful

I'm on my third Monster energy drink.

It must be finals.

I know just how much I will hate myself when I am older and I try to read journal entries from my college days...and I don't have any. So much goes through my head, but when it comes to actually writing it down, I get lazy. And it's a shame because my life has changed so much in the last year. As 2008 comes to a close, I have been thinking a lot about where my life has been and where it's heading.

Aside from the momentous realization that my life is simultaneously ending and beginning, I have been surprisingly optimistic about the future. This giant chapter that is my childhood, because college is so much like a childhood, is done. I'm coming on the last few months of irresponsibility, of ignoring my obligations, of sleeping in and blaming it on staying up too late, studying. I already feel too old for this. I get hangovers now. I drink wine. I get hangovers from wine. And yet, I realize that I'm only twenty-one years old. I'm a baby. I still haven't had my first boyfriend and I watch cartoons with absolutely no intention of being ironic.

This is it. Life is starting. Jen, my very best friend...the girl who put up with me in high school, trusted only my opinion because I was the most honest, laughed with me about the most idiotic things, and held me through the most awkward times of my life...SHE'S GETTING MARRIED. She has a baby and she'll have a husband soon enough which, while the most exciting thing that could happen, is also the most fucking terrifying thing on Earth. Soon enough, the rest will follow and just like I attended a dozen quinceaneras in high school, I'll have to follow the same ridiculous party circuit formula in the next few years. Lather, rinse, repeat. I couldn't be happier, though. Weddings and babies are fun aside from them reminding me that I have yet to catch up. And maybe that's why I'm having a hard time imagining myself as a proper adult. I can't shake the feeling that I missed out on a lot of what others have experienced.

But this year has meant a lot to me. I learned that no matter what grades I get, what extracurricular activities I don't end up doing, and how terrible my resume looks, I am a good person and I am totally capable of achieving whatever I damn well please. I spent a glorious month in Brazil and came out of it thirsting for more of the world. I pledged for a sisterhood that pushed me to be a better person and taught me that the only person standing in the way of what I want is myself. I learned that I'm still stubborn. This will never change. Despite all the relationships blossoming around me, I learned that I only need myself to be happy. And I am happy. I am ridiculously and deliriously happy with life and everything that I've been lucky enough to have. My childhood may be ending, but I head into adulthood with a beautiful family, a great group of friends, an appreciation for everything around me, faith in the human race, faith in God, a sense of self, and no doubt that it will only get better.

Bring it on, 2009.

Current Mood: optimistic

Let us find the logic in discussing a major speech that the parties interviewed have not watched. I hate CNN. I hate Rick Sanchez. I hate this election. But I am a huge fan of Reverend Jeremiah Wright now. Suck on THAT, America.

I feel like I've been in this country for weeks instead of three days. Our tourguide is a complete psycho who somehow forgets that we need sleep. We landed in Sao Paulo on Thursday after a 10-hour, overnight flight and 2 hour delay only to be herded onto a bus immediately and sent touring around the city. I was miserable, and everyone else was too. But it's a little better. We leave tomorrow for Salvador. All of us have been dealing with SP as best as we can until Salvador, where we will spend the next month. Everyone we talk to says that it is an amazing place, so I'm very excited. The weather is great here. It's raining, but warm and only slightly humid. The language barrier has given us more trouble than I think any of us had anticipated. But I am so glad to be here. The group is really starting to bond and we're having a blast. More later, when I'm hopefully drunk off delicious, delicious caipirinhas.

I think I might be coming down with something. My body hates me during the holidays and I always get very sick at the end of the month. Better now than next week, I guess. Seven days officially remain until I board a plane for Brazil. I'm nervous and terrified, but excited as well. I keep trying to translate things from English into Portuguese in my head, but it doesn't work out. I slacked off during the last half of my class because I was so caught up with other schoolwork that my Portuguese is terrible now. I also decided not to take the Portuguese class while in Brazil, opting instead for Anthropology. I hate language classes so much, I think taking one while in Brazil would ruin the trip for me.

I feel so old. If I go to bed after 12, I feel groggy and gross during the day. I trained myself to be in bed by midnight so I could get ready for work so now it's backfired at me. I also think I'm coming down with something because I feel congested. It was gross at work when I was sniffling and couldn't blow my nose in front of customers.

In other news, classes have been going pretty well. I'm in love with my political science class and it's making me seriously consider continuing my education in Latin American Studies rather than English. Oh, my god. Me...in grad school. Okay. My Portuguese class is amazing as well. My accent is completely off. My Spanish class sucks ass. We learned to conjugate "oir" which I learned, oh, I don't know, when I was two. It's ridiculous that I have to take this class or pay for a $150 exam to be placed in the NEXT Spanish class. Maybe in that one, we learn how to say "where is the bathroom?"

Current Mood: crappy